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May 25, 2008 Rants

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New Republican Slogan: Pennies On The Dollar: The Change You People Deserve

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/27/we-have-a-winner-huffpost_n_103803.html

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1. Last Sunday I drove my 1919 Model T station wagon over to the car show at the Owls Head Transportation Museum. There are seven foot humble Farmer signs on each side of my Model T so even if my radio friends don’t know what I look like, they often see the huge signs and come over to chat. Last Sunday was memorable because Don, who is a dentist down in Cape Elizabeth --- Don came over to say he still remembered a story he heard me tell several years ago. Luckily for you, I made a note at the time, because otherwise I would have forgotten which story it was. If you’ve been listening to my show for any amount of time you know that I ask you a lot of questions. And here is the question that Don, the dentist, remembered. What are you burning for wood in your kitchen stove? What kind of wood is the most efficient and gives you the most BTUs of heat per cord? Is it birch, maple, oak, lignum vitae? This week I set out to visit some neighbors in hopes of answering this question, but didn’t get past Jimmy Parker’s house. Because when I asked, “What are you burning this winter?” Jimmy said, “So far two skiffs and the stern of a dory.”

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2. We all have embarrassing moments. The theater has capitalized on this down through the centuries, and now small children are exposed to embarrassing moments in television sitcoms. They unfold like this: the protagonist is either doing something he shouldn’t be doing or accidentally finds himself naked and locked out of house or in some other unbearably embarrassing situation. Any friend who sees him engaged in this activity will think that he is a fool. I came close to having it happen to me while I was eating dinner today. About the only time I turn on the television set is when I eat alone. My wife Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, more often than not prepares a plate for me from supper leftovers which I pop into the microwave for dinner the following day. Today I sat down before the tube, little folding table in front of me with the warm plate of food on that. I clicked until I came to the news, which lasted until I was half way through my second ear of corn on the cob. Are you listening? The news ended, my fingers were all butter from the corn so I couldn’t change the channels or shut off the television. There I was, trapped in my chair. Imagine how I felt, knowing, that at any moment one of my friends could have walked in and thought that I was watching, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”

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3. Someone once wrote a book called, Things I Learned While Looking Up Something Else. Who should turn up when I was Googling psychological evaluations, but Joseph Stalin. Listen to these quotes by Stalin. They are --- what --- 60 or 70 years old --- but you don’t have think too hard to realize that he was on the money when it comes to today.

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http://thinkexist.com/quotation/education_is_a_weapon_whose_effects_depend_on_who/210908.html

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Stalin said, “When we hang the capitalists they will sell us the rope” Wow. You might have read that more than 70 percent of the goods on Wal-Mart's shelves come from China. Every time you and I buy something that was produced in China or some other country where there are no unions, we might remember this quote by Stalin --- we are buying them the rope they’ll use to hang us.

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4. And speaking of unions, it took American workers many years to establish labor unions. Corporate American hired thugs to crush unions. Of course that was back before the days when they could do it with television commercials. The original purpose of unions was to give workers a living wage, safe working conditions and job security. Nowadays, with the wisdom that always comes with hindsight, we wonder why employers bothered to pay thugs and police to beat up workers who tried to establish unions --- or stand outside company gates on strike. What a big ado about nothing that was. Why in the world should any employer provide safe working conditions or pay profit-eating wages, when all they had to do was move their operation to some other country? This is, of course, what they have now done. Can you bring yourself to believe that the companies that haven’t already moved out of this land of the free are presently working on it? A few years back you paid higher prices in your mom and pop stores, but back then your dollars also circulated in your community and you got them back. The higher prices were also a reflection of good wages paid to American workers in union shops. Now, big box stores compound our economic problems by not only selling us foreign goods, but by sucking the dollars you spend out of your area. A casino couldn't impoverish an area any quicker than a big box store. American consumers are now in a lose-lose downward spiral. What are you going to do about it?

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5. Where was I? Yes, and look where your credit card companies have set up shop. In the states that permit them to charge what --- 20 or 30 percent interest? A while back you certainly heard that defense contractor Halliburton was moving its corporate headquarters to Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. Dubai's friendly tax laws will add to Halliburton's bottom line which in a recent year reportedly took $2.3 billion of your tax dollars in profits. Have you ever wondered how many other big-name so-called American companies are legally incorporated in other countries or on tiny islands? Who cares and does it matter? Have you ever gone on line and discovered for yourself who pays the taxes in America today? An alarming percentage of most everything I’ve bought over the past 20 years was made in China. I kicked American workers in the pants with every purchase. My purchases also meant that every American in uniform who was ever dropped by a communist or fascist bullet died in vain. To paraphrase Joe Stalin, we are buying the communists the rope they will use to hang us. You know I don't mean the Cuban communists. Because corporate America can't exploit the cheap Cuban labor, we will keep Cuba impoverished and harmless. You’ve been told that the price of food has gone up 20 or so percent in the past year. But think about this --- doesn’t it really mean that for some mysterious reason the value of your dollar has dropped against the Euro and Asian currencies? Why did a woman who just came back from Norway tell me, “They don’t like us.” Why are our overseas friends and cousins almost unanimous in hating and fearing the United States government? Why has the price of gasoline been allowed to more than double since Clinton left office? Why are American boys and girls being mutilated or killed every day without being told that their mere presence in Iraq generates a constantly-growing, faceless enemy (conveniently without nationality) who is simply called a “terrorist?” No matter where you look, the damning evidence is there: You know who has destroyed your America. Aren’t you glad that when your grandchildren whine that they can’t afford college or get a decent job you can at least look them in the eye and tell them that you voted for the other guy?

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6. Here’s a junk email that made me roar when I read it: the junk email said, “We Pay Top Dollar For Unwanted Gold.” As anyone who buys groceries or gas or oil knows, the value of your dollar is dropping like a rock. When the history books are written, this period of American history will be compared to post WWI in Germany when Germany borrowed money to fight a war that couldn’t be won. The only difference being, WWI finally ended. Within a short while after WWI a German paid over a billion marks for a pack of gum. If you bought $1,000 worth of gold in 2001, it would be worth around $3,000 today. So, if you have a box of gold buried out back of your house or in a bank vault, would you rush right out and trade them for American dollars that go down in value every day? Gold has tripled in value against the American dollar during the past two administrations. Whereas, you don’t even want to think about what those dollars you put in a savings account in 2001 are now worth against the Euro or Asian currencies. So, wouldn’t you laugh if you read, “We Pay Top Dollar For Unwanted Gold.” When was the last time you had any unwanted gold collecting dust in your house?

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7. It had just started to sprinkle when I drove into the dooryard so I jumped out of the truck and was yanking the clothes off the line when a squall hit. A fitted sheet was yanked off the line and disappeared over the top of a garage 200 feet away. I’d never seen anything like it. Later in the day, when I mentioned it to Richard, my computer guru, I asked him if he’d ever seen a tornado. He said he had seen a tornado only once. It was doubly memorable because it was on the day when he divorced his wife. They split their estate between them. Among other things, he got one house and she got another house located a few hundred feet away. Because this was a friendly divorce they had gone out for dinner with a mutual friend and had just returned to the house that now belonged to him, when they heard a noise like a freight train approaching. They knew that something bad was about to happen so they ran down cellar. Whoom. The tornado went by, and when they came out a few shingles had been ripped off his house. But they could see that his ex wife’s house was gone. She said, “Oh Richard, what are we going to do? And Richard said, “What do you mean, we?”

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8. Little public service announcement here. It might pay you to give me your full attention. A few years ago I bought a camera on line from a company called Avalon Gadgets. You do not want to do business with Avalon gadgets. Any review that says anything good about Avalon Gadgets, was written by Avalon Gadgets. I just Googled Avalon Gadgets and The humble Farmer, and listen to this quote I found by me. “When you can't find an address for the company on their web page --- this is bad news. Red flags should jump up everywhere when you can't find a company’s location on their web pages. Always look for a location of a company before you buy from them. And always Google the company name along with "reviews" before buying from them over the Internet. Then your name won't turn up in letters like this. I'm Robert Karl Skoglund. I live at 785 River Road, St. George, ME 04860. I got ripped off by folks who had no address on their web page. But they are going to have to work to get me again. Since then I've done business with that big company --- you know who. You'll pay a fair price, and you know they are quicker than rabbits when it comes to returning an item. And that eliminates a couple of hundred dollars worth of grief right there.” End of quote. This came to mind when I tried to find a four-foot Werner Trestle ladder for my wife. It turned up for $75 on a web site called Toolup.com. But, it looks to me like Amazon is selling the same thing for $127. So of course I Googled the reviews for Toolup, and when I read them, guess what? Perfect 5 star reviews on 90 percent of them, written in the same language as the perfect 5 star reviews I saw for Avalon Gadgets years ago. Would you guess that they wrote them themselves? Having two or three dozen extra email addresses is just another marketing tool for crooks today. The other ten percent of the reviews are from angry people who have been taken. If you see a fourth grade kid turn in a report that looks like it was written by his father who teaches physics, it probably was. Please my friend, when you see a company pages with pages and pages of glowing five-star reviews on line, touting a product at 40 percent lower than anyone else, and they have no physical address, don’t go there. But, don’t take my word for it --- Google Toolup and Avalon Gadgets and tell me what you think.

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9. It just occurred to me that some women may have husbands who give them a list of what they want done every day. Here is what I would like you to do today, wife. Wash dishes, vacuum the floor, make the bed, do the laundry. You have heard me say that should I presume to trespass upon these little chores performed daily by my wife, Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, not only would I hear about it, but I would see her take down the clothes I had hung out to dry and then watch her hang them again the right way. On the other hand, although I don’t have time to do all the things I have to do and things I want to do, every day my wife comes up with several things she wants me to do that should be placed higher on my list of priorities than the things I already have to do. Here is my question to you: does coming up with lists of things to do belong solely to the domain of wives, or do some husbands do it, too?

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10. Here’s what I got out of the Encyclopedia Britannica this week under G. Patrick Gray Gray was a Scottish politician whose intrigues were for some years of importance in Anglo-Scottish diplomacy. King James VI sent him to negotiate an alliance with Elizabeth I of England, but instead he plotted the fall of the Scottish chancellor. Patrick Gray Gray was also mixed up in Mary’s execution. His undoubted diplomatic ability was linked with such a complete lack of honesty that at one stage he was willing to act simultaneously on behalf of James, Mary and Elizabeth. Good thing Patrick Gray Gray is long gone because you wouldn’t have to think too hard to figure out who he’d be working for in Washington today.

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11. Back around the time I started college fifty years ago, I’d hear that the United States was sending aid to poorer countries. I was lucky enough to live in a rich country, so earning 100 dollars or so every summer to pay my yearly college tuition was not a problem. Then, all winter, every Saturday night I’d play for a dance at the Blue Goose in Belfast and half of the ten dollars I got for that paid for my room for the week and the other five bought my food for the week. But today’s high school graduates no longer live in a rich country. Unless they are in the business of foreclosing on unpaid mortgages, there is no way a summer job can pay a student’s tuition for a year of college. And, unless they are one of the Grateful Dead, there is no way four hours of playing in a band is going to pay their room and board for a week. Like it or not, America, which in the past has done so much for others, has changed - and is no longer willing to do anything for its own. This week we heard that the University of Maine has eliminated 80 or so positions. Perhaps you have recently noticed that our government has its own priorities for your tax dollars and that education is not one of them. But don’t despair. There is a college education out there available for you young people not blessed with rich parents. Did you know that in Sweden and Finland education is 100% free for everyone, regardless of where you come from? Google will help you discover that colleges all over Northern Europe are welcoming students from backward, third world countries. American high school graduates would do well to get in the line.

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For your information. Read this letter from a “top student.” I completely support this WAMM. People who share and use marijuana. Voters got rid of this. Used to seriously ill or injured should be able to have cannabis. HIV and more should allow this proposition 15. Is the law that if a physician recommends this they should be able to grow and use. September 5th 2002 the government went against this and raided the people. 160 pot plants were cut down. Valerie says she will take the charges. She feels that this is hurting 230 people. She stands her ground and will not back down. I totally back her up. I mean seriously god put pot on the earth, its natural. I feel if people want to smoke. I feel who cares let people do it. There are far worse things that you can do and take than pot. I have always been against hard drugs. F that stuffs it is gross. Yet I am a Christian, top student and worker, I am doing just fine. I feel this is terrible. I feel that these sick and dying people can use this. I am upset. Let me know if you guys need my support. Student-run radio Ouray Ouray, CO May 22, 2008

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