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1. How do you know when you’ve got a marriage that really works? How do you know when you and your spouse are 100 percent compatible? That your thinking is along exactly the same lines? I suppose it differs from family to family but here’s how I know I married the woman who was made to be married to me. There are two doors that lead into our bathroom. No matter which door I open to step into the bathroom, at the exact same moment my wife opens the other door and we both step into the bath room with exactly the same thing in mind.

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2. I just heard that a woman I know, who had been taught how to live by herself and was therefore spared a life in an institution, had a sinking spell and had to be rushed to the hospital. Being a fan of sweet drinks she had swilled away until over a period of two weeks in the hospital doctors were able to pumped 40 pounds of fluid out of her body. You might imagine it was like letting air out of a tire. Do you like sweet drinks? Amazing what sweet drinks can do to you.

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3. When I was a kid and three people ran for selectman, it seems as the low person dropped out and the other two had a runoff election. It is the feeling of many that this avoided the election of candidates who were opposed by the majority. What do you think about doing things that way? And while I’m asking questions, what would you think about Maine having its own state bank? If you were to Google, you might discover that North Dakota is doing very well, thank you, and many attribute it to the fact that North Dakota has its own state bank. What do you think? Should Maine have immediate runoff elections when three people are running? And should Maine investigate the economic advantages to having its own state bank? You might ask yourself if having more money in your pocket and a person you had voted for running things make you happy?

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4. Ever heard of Justin Bieber? If someone walked up to you and asked if you’d ever heard of Justin Bieber couldn’t you see Justin Bieber in your mind? I can. Doesn’t Justin Bieber sound like a character in a Sinclair Lewis novel? Does Justin Bieber look like Elmer Gantry? Every time I hear someone mention Justin Bieber I see a Pentecostal minister waving his arms in a tent.

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5. There are people in this country who think we should have more public transportation --- that’s bus and train service --- and there are those who think we should get around the best way we can in our leased cars. Interestingly enough, the bus/train people and the own/lease car people form two camps that seem to break down along already established political lines. One man told me he’d be afraid to speak out in favor of bus and train travel for fear he’d be called a socialist. Bicycles, which are a very popular way of getting around in flat countries like Holland, probably wouldn’t work in Maine. Here anyone on a bike is no more than target practice for an SUV.

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6. There’s a YouTube link going around that shows a Maine State Policeman talking with a Maine man who is sitting in a red car. The closest thing I’ve ever seen to it, except for the sound track, is a 1914 Charlie Chaplin film. If you’re interested and ask I can probably find it for you. Yes, here it is. If you Google “YouTube Maine state trooper” you’ll see the officer in blue standing by a red car and that’s the clip I’m talking about. Watching this video might make you want to give every man who wears a Maine state police uniform a raise. If you take the time to watch it you might even wonder if the Maine Chamber of Commerce produced it just to get more hits on their website. If you’ve never been to Maine, here’s your chance to meet a real Maine man behind the wheel of his car. There is no question in my mind but I have seen many of the letters this man has written to the editors of Maine newspapers.

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7. We read that if the right-wing truly wants to reduce deficits, they would support increased taxes while reducing spending, but that fact runs against their belief that "government is the problem". If government is the problem can it be it is because corporate America has bought our government and now runs our government to suit its own bottom line? You might have a problem with a government like that. You might remember when a grand jury accused Cheney of a conflict of interest because of his alleged influence over the county’s federal immigrant prison and his investments in a company that invests in private prison companies. What can you tell me about these privatized prisons --- other than that they cost you, the taxpayer, more than a prison run by the government? A friend sent me some information about a lobbying group that works to privatize prisons. They represent all the big prison companies --- which are naturally working to gather up more prisoners --- which is why we lock up more of our neighbors than any other nation. You already know that pot would be legal if so many people like Dick Cheney didn’t make so much money putting pot merchants in their private jails. Prisoners are cash cows. If you run a prison as a business, the business has to grow. Can it be that our friends on the right are really not trying to reduce spending? Is it possible that they are only trying to put more and more your tax money in their own pockets? What do you think?

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8. Many Maine people in high places are against this DNA testing thing. To begin with, if DNA testing were required retroactively, at least one man who has been in the Maine state prison for many years might be found innocent. And then the system would have to go out and match up the DNA with any known predators who happened to be in the neighborhood at the time the crime was committed to find the real criminal. What a bother that would be. What do you think? Isn’t it better to let a man rot in jail for a crime he didn't commit than smear egg on many respectable faces?

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9. Many of us will be pleasantly surprised if we don't soon have troops on the ground "to protect civilians” and the well-paid civilian contractors who will be building US military bases on Libyan soil. We're talking here about a threadbare scenario that has milked you and other US taxpayers for decades.

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10. We read in the paper that the Oxford casino permit may see delay because of a potential conflict of interest for the commissioner of the Maine DEP. We read that the commissioner owns a company that has been hired to plan the site work for the casino. In a letter to the editor beneath the article a person who says he voted for the present governor wrote “I don't like people profiting from their positions of power in our government” and “I didn't and don't expect you and your gang to do that." One might guess that our friend, who says he voted for the present governor, just received his first eye-opening elementary lesson in the inextricable ties between business and government. Will you please tell me if there is any purpose to being an elected government official if it is not to use your power to share wealth with your friends? Some people in government have friends who own businesses, large and small. They naturally want to help their friends earn more money. One of the ways this can be done is to pass legislation that would slash workers’ wages from $300 a week to $100 a week. Other people in government have friends who work on salary or by the hour. They naturally want to help their friends earn more money. One of the ways this can be done is to pass legislation that would raise the minimum wage from $300 a week to $500 a week. A student of history realizes that this age-old dichotomy between employers and employees once formed the basis of two gangs, or political parties. And I’m just like you, rich or poor. For many years in any election the political signs on my lawn and my vote supported the candidate I hoped would improve my financial condition. But because the recent Supreme Court decision now permits big business to contribute as much as is necessary to elect candidates in both gangs or parties, nowadays it’s hard to tell them apart.

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11. When I was a young man of 40, Mrs. Ditchett, who was probably 80, would make me chicken soup. It was the best chicken soup I’ve ever had and if I could locate one of Mrs. Ditchett’s granddaughters, I’d ask her if she had preserved Mrs. Ditchett’s recipe for chicken soup. If you’ve ever wished you had the recipe to something that tasted very good to you years ago you know what I’m talking about. One day I chanced to remember that Dicky, who lives in a town in Holland called Kampen, could make good chicken soup so I wrote and asked her for the recipe. Dicky starts off by saying that the soup is so easy that even I can do it myself. And I have to agree that it looks pretty simple --- until I get to line six. On line six I am stopped dead in my tracks because --- it says, “When it is almost cooked, turn the flame down low.” This is how women manage to dominate the kitchen. You will not find one of them who will send you a recipe that says, “Put two quarts of water in a 3-quart pan and boil the chicken for 27 minutes at 250 degrees. Add 17 seconds for every 100 feet above sea level.” Back during my bachelor days whenever Mary Webb would drop off two mackerel I’d call Gladys next door for instruction. Gladys had lived with and around fishermen in St. George for 80 years and knew more about cooking fish than anyone. But when I’d ask her how long I should boil the mackerel, she’d say, “Until they’re done.” I’d ask how I could tell when they were done. And Gladys would say, “You can tell.”

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