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1. Have you read any of the discussions about welfare reform? This probably means the welfare received by poor people, because welfare for corporations is called bailouts and tax incentives. You might know a man in Augusta who could develop a whole new cheering section if food stamps in Maine could only be used to buy organic products raised by Maine farmers.

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2. Men can be placed into two categories. The first category is men who don’t know that they dress wicked shabby and look terrible. The second category is men who know that they look shabby, but don’t care. It is the institution of marriage that moves many of us from the unenlightened first category into the second.

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3. The headline reads: Bill to eliminate Maine House ready for debate and beneath the article a reader wrote: "Terrible idea. Consolidate the power into fewer hands? Terrible, terrible, terrible if either side consolidates power further. You think the lobbyists run Augusta now? Watch and see how little control the people will have if this change takes place. Fewer checks and balances, less accountability to a greater number of people. The 'people's voice' would truly wilt away under proposals such as this." You might have said, "less accountability to a fewer number of people." And that nowadays it is difficult to find a working person who can afford to take time off to serve in the legislature. Only folks with a bit of cash behind them or have businesses that can be run by qualified employees can afford the time and effort. So it is always surprising whenever the working people find someone who will truly represent them. If one is truly effective, he is targeted in the next election by his corporate-backed opponents who are willing to spend whatever it takes to replace him. Luckily for liberals, in Maine liberals are still removed by corporate dollars and not a hail of bullets, although talk radio is working to move us in that direction. But you already knew all that. You've read about that articulate fellow in Europe who effectively eliminated all voices from the people and ran the military and the government exactly the way he wanted to. It should be obvious to anyone who bothers to read hundreds of letters in this blog that anyone with a similar political philosophy could easily win any election he entered in Maine today. And now we read that his modern counterparts are trying to eliminate the Maine House in which fewer people would have more power. Which would mean that it would take very deep pockets to get them elected. So what you seem to be saying is --- Who needs a government where people actually have a voice, anyway? It only took one man to run Germany.

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4. Here’s something that came in an email today. It says, “You Can Get Cash For Your Lawsuit Today” I have no idea of what that means unless it is that someone could earn a nice living if he could find enough people who would sue him.

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5. I flew over 3,000 miles in one month and I can tell you that if you haven’t flown for a while, the menus on airplanes have changed. Before you get on a plane now, the person at the ticket gate makes an announcement about this new feeding policy. This message is couched in euphemisms and circumlocutions. But after you’ve flown once you realize that this message means: Buy food before you get on the plane so you don’t starve to death by the time you get where you’re going.

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6. You might have heard about a newspaper called The New Maine Times. Here’s another letter to the editor about this New Maine Times that says, "Non-profits in Maine have become nothing more than government subsidized competition for private enterprise. They are just another path of socialism." Think about this. Have you ever wondered if Americans who deprecate the socialist lifestyle could be compared to cantankerous spinsters who say they hate sex? It would be interesting to see what percentage of working people who have lived under socialism, or have even seen it --- or even know what it is, would spend time writing letters to newspapers condemning it. Corporate America has told you so many times in the newspapers (that they own) that this mysterious socialism thing is bad, that you’d believe it --- if you didn’t know better. You have certainly read that to keep the Great Depression from ever happening again, Roosevelt placed regulations on financial institutions. And you certainly recall that after the capitalists who lobbied Congress to remove these regulations enriched themselves while bringing their financial houses down, they then conveniently turned --- socialist --- and persuaded George W. Bush to bail them out with your tax dollars. So we see that capitalists are able to compartmentalize their thinking: They will tell you that socialism is great when it comes in the form of tax breaks or bailouts for millionaire bankers out to enrich themselves. But, without even blushing, in the next breath they will tell you that socialism is bad if it provides you with healthcare and a college education and a nice home and a new car and vacations for the family. In other words --- socialism is good for me because I own a business --- socialism is bad for you because you work for me. Hey all you spinsters out there --- before you knock sex or socialism you might want to try it.

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7. And it came to pass that I was going to fly out of Portland didn’t have a place to leave my truck. But at last I made arrangements with radio friend Mark to leave it in his backyard up near the hospital. My bag alone weighed 38 pounds so as I walked down off the hill I kept looking for a taxi but there aren’t too many taxies in Portland. And this must be because Portland people are mostly yuppie types who realize that it’s better to walk than ride when you go somewhere. And after I didn’t see a taxi for a half hour or so, I asked a woman if there were any busses in Portland. One that went to the airport. Yes, walk down that way for half a mile or so. So I walked and walked and kept asking people where I could get the bus, and that 38 pound bag was getting heavier and heavier. And when I got to the bus stop, it was right abeam of the Longfellow house. Not one person I’d asked for directions to the bus stop had mentioned the Longfellow House. Portland people might not know it is there. Did you know that spitting, smoking, or the carrying of smoldering cigars, cigarettes or pipes is forbidden on Portland busses? That’s what the sign in the bus said. But I’ll bet you could get away with any of those things on a Portland bus if you tried, because the sign did not say “strictly forbidden.” Also, Portland bus drivers cannot engage in unnecessary conversation while vehicle is in motion. But suppose you felt that it were absolutely necessary to tell the driver about the cute thing your granddaughter said yesterday? Oh, after I’d walked half a mile to get to the bus stop, that bus made a big circle and went within 200 feet of where I’d started walking. So your gee whiz fact for this week is, Yes Virginia, they do have busses in Portland.

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8. Here’s an email from an organization called Save Our Environment. They’re trying to raise $15,000 to buy advertising to defend the Environmental Protection Agency. What in the world are they going to do with $15,000 worth of advertising when corporate America will spend millions --- whatever it takes --- to emasculate the EPA? If you can understand what they hope to do with their $15,000 against a bottomless pit of money please explain it to me.

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9. If you have read any history at all --- or even novels that were written two or three hundred years ago --- you know that back in the good old days there were some pretty bloodthirsty people around. Here’s a guy about to have his head cut off at a public execution and 12,000 people are watching as they scream, “Kill him, kill him.” And even today you can open a newspaper and read about folks who have become so accustomed to seeing dead people in the streets that they can easily prop up the dead bodies of your mother and your sister and pose for photographs beside them. We are talking here about your common, everyday flag-waving neighbor who goes to church and belongs to your club and sends his kids to school with yours. The difference between you and your neighbor, however, is that he really enjoys seeing others suffer. Indeed, many would enjoy kicking so-and-so in the groin or punching whoozits in the face with brass knuckles, and more people than you might suspect are invested with this dark side. If you don’t believe what I’m passing along to you here, read a few of the letters posted to a Maine newspaper’s blog.

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10. Did you see the New York Times article that said that Maine’s governor just signed a law that will reduce restrictions for building on sand dunes? It was mentioned as one of the governor's victories. You will never hear me calling anyone names on this program --- or anywhere else --- but in Matthew 7:26 you can read, "And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand."

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11. Did you read that Senator Bill Diamond up there in the Maine State House is going to try to ban texting while driving? You know you're old when something becomes illegal before you even know what it is.

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12. My friend Winky was driving into town with a van load of his kids and their friends when he was stopped by a policeman who said, “Hey buddy. The limit here is 35.” And Winky turned around and said, “I’m sorry but three of you kids are going to have to get out.”

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