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Rants September 9, 2012

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1. The other night we had some guests from northern Israel in the Executive Suite. In the morning our guests came out and said they’d spent the night in the cellar. Someone across the river was shooting off fireworks and they were not sure if it was an attack from Syria or Lebanon.

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2. Someone wrote a letter to the newspaper that said, "When Maine companies pay crap that is the kind of work force they get. Most of the educated talented young Mainers had to leave the state, to find a living wage somewhere else." Who ever heard of such talk. My wife taught in Maine. Her college buddy who taught the same classes in Connecticut was paid about twice as much as my wife. --- And even got a pension when she retired. True, on the down side, my wife's friend had to live in Connecticut. A teacher friend of mine in the Portland area, who was assigned student teachers, felt obligated to explain the Maine pension system to the students at the end of their tenure and pointed out that if they wanted to earn a decent living or ever wanted to retire, they should perhaps consider working in another state. While riding from the airport to a speaking engagement in a mid-western state, my young taxi driver told me he was going to be a teacher. When I said he must be dedicated to work for peanuts he told me what teachers in his state earned --- about twice what they get here in Maine. In recent years when I have had the pleasure of working with classes of young people, I have suggested that they spend a summer backpacking with their peers in Northern Europe. They might discover the summer homes, healthcare, educational systems, working conditions, salaries and pension systems in Norway or Holland or Finland to their liking and decide to set up shop there. I can't speak for you, but not only my father but all of my ancestors came here from Northern Europe to find a better life. Now that the economic situation has turned 180 degrees, I would encourage young people to follow the advice of the person who wrote that letter and do the same thing my ancestors did years ago and "find a living wage somewhere else."

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3. My friend Winky tried to sell vacuum cleaners. He went up to a farm house down in Bremen and when the door opened he said he’d like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners. The woman said to go away because she didn’t have any money for vacuum cleaners. But Winky jammed his foot in the door and asked if she wouldn’t please watch his demonstration, and he took a little can of desiccated horse manure out of his pocket and stuck his hand in the door and dumped it on the hall carpet. Winky said, "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, I will eat what’s left." Woman said, “I’m glad to hear that because this morning the power company shut off my power.”

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4. I look forward to interviewing one of my duly elected friends who was kicked out of the Republican National convention for being on the wrong side. If there is anything good about this shameful situation it certainly shows the world once again how the big money people who run the Republican party operate --- not that most everyone didn't already know it. "I'm the big kid on the block and I'm going to go anywhere in the world I want and I'm going to do anything I want and I'm going to take anything I want." Ryan gave us a good example of this New-Age-Republican way of thinking when he had a man who spoke out at his meeting thrown to the ground, handcuffed, and dragged off. These clips are seen by people all over the world and remind a few of us older folks of a man in Europe who became quite well-known for doing the exact same thing. How many more points Ryan would have made and how easily he could have defused the situation had he invited his detractor up to the mike to blow off some steam. But that's not the way present day Republicans operate. What harm would it have done to have seated all of Maine's elected delegates? They would have been quickly and easily silenced and it wouldn't have changed a thing. --- Except that people would have to agree that we are still living in a land where all the votes are counted. If anything bad comes of all this it has certainly convinced many people who don't trust our present system that they were right.

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5. I have always been opposed to school consolidation although the fact that it costs more money was not my initial reason. I would be glad to elaborate for anyone who is interested. It wipes out a community. I voted against St. George going in with Thomaston when the vote first came up --- as most of my neighbors now wish they had done. In a few letters to the editor, we see Baldacci blamed for school consolidation. And that is ok because blaming Clinton or Obama or Baldacci for even a bad apple crop is taken for granted in Maine. But although Baldacci’s misguided school policy certainly entitles him to a good share of the present SAD situation in Maine, Baldacci was only about three years old when my town St. George was suckered in.

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6. The other day I met a man who was a paratrooper. He said that he had no problem jumping from an airplane but he had to get his wife to replace lightbulbs because standing on a chair made him dizzy. It doesn’t make sense to me either.

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7. At a liberal arts college doesn't one learn to question what one reads and what one hears? I have a friend who is very smart but he's never been to school. And the emails he forwards to me at least gives me the impression that he believes most everything he reads or hears. If nothing else perhaps the most important thing one learns at school is to not believe everything you hear on the radio or read in the newspapers. Because of this new educational tool called the Internet, it has never been easier to verify the veracity of what one hears and reads. But as far as I know, my friend never checks out anything. But he seems to believe everything that arrives in his email box. Do you have friends like that?

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8. Here’s your humble wisdom for today. Everything is worth the extra dime --- if you have the extra dime.

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9. From time to time I met a person who does something so exceptional, so unexpected --- that he/she warrants attention. If you do not know me well, because this incident is so unusual you might well suspect that I’m making it up just so I can see the shocked expression on your face. But those who have listened to my commentary for over 30 years know that I don’t have to do that kind of thing. Enough creepy unbelievable things happen to me every day, so that all I have to do is tell you about each one exactly as it happened. Now, if you’re braced and ready. Today I sent an email to a bright young man who has yet to see his 30th birthday. And the email he sent back DID NOT have a note at the bottom that said, “Sent from my cell phone.”

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10. A couple of years ago someone drove into my yard in a BMW and dug out a dehumidifier for my cellar. I ran it all last month in the cellar and it works good. And my light bill doubled to $124.77 This is the highest bill we’ve had since September of 2009 before I put in the solar stuff. Three years. I knew those dehumidifiers ate a lot of power and now I know how much. I guess we'll go back to having a wet cellar.

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11. I was watching some YouTube videos of people doing stupid things that caused them real pain. I was amazed and said so. My friend Tim said, You've obviously never watched "Jersey Shore." Or "Jackass." The examples you cite are of people who lack sufficient imagination to effectively monetize their stupidity. Legitimate accidents are one thing. "Hold my beer and watch this" is another whole category.

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12. In 1918 times were tough in Switzerland. According to the Encyclopedia Britannica which I open at random and read from daily, in 1918 Swiss workers demanded, and might have very well got, a 48-hour week, old-age pensions, votes for women and national health insurance. Because we live in the richest most wonderful country in the world, one has to wonder why, almost 100 years after the time I was reading about, we still don’t have some of these basic things that people in most developed countries take for granted.

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