Below is a rough draft of humble's rants for your Maine Private Radio show for March 27, 2016

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1. It is not uncommon to go out in the woods here in the town of St. George, Maine and see a little wooden platform twenty feet up in a tree. I think they call this a tree stand. My friends who are hunters climb up the tree and sit or stand on this tiny wooden platform, sometimes for hours, until a little furry animal comes close and then they shoot the little furry animal. By this time, the hunter is so stiff from just sitting quietly for four hours that he can barely climb down the tree. This is why there is hardly a hunter alive who has used one of these tree stands who has not fallen off the thing and dropped kerplunk on the ground. Perhaps you have chanced upon those wipeout television programs where people crash snowmobiles and skateboards and water skis. So, if you have ever seen a hunter fall out of a tree stand you realize that a popular Maine sport has been denied valuable promotional coverage. Are not producers of Wipeout shows remiss in not adding footage of falling Maine hunters to prime time television?

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2. We read that Tom Lehrer was born on April 9, 1928. It was almost 50 years later to the day that I made my first Maine Public Radio program which enjoyed a 29 year run before being abruptly terminated. We read on line that the NY Times once said: 'Mr. Lehrer's muse [is] not fettered by such inhibiting factors as taste.") Lehrer has said of his musical career, "If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while." Perhaps we should honor this great man by playing some of his music on this program today.

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3. Many years ago, when people were still killing their neighbors and relatives with the jawbone from an ass, governments were formed to eliminate anarchy. Even if one king at the top made all the rules, at least there was some semblance of order. With anarchy, people constantly fight among themselves. With government, people are organized so entire countries can constantly fight among themselves.

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4. A friend sent me this notice. It is about a high school class reunion that meets at one member’s house. I quote: The reunion-active group only includes those who have been somewhat successful and are not afraid for others to know of their circumstances. Isn’t this something to which most Americans have been conditioned to aspire?

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5. I read in a medieval history book that John of Salisbury was born around 1120. The only thing I can remember about him, aside from the fact that he was a humanist who preceded Erasmus by several hundred years, was that he disliked big words. What do you think about that? Is there a time and place for big words? Do children who start school with a fairly decent vocabulary have a leg up on children who have parents who communicate with grunts and shrugs of the shoulder? You might disagree with me, and that’s all right, but if you know one big word that takes the place of three little ones, I don’t see any harm in using it. Is there any place where I would not, under any circumstances use a big word? Yes. I would not, under any circumstances use a multisyllabic word if I were running for President of the United States.

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6. Do you have a Facebook page? On my Facebook page I admitted that I still don't know if greed is hardwired into the brain at birth, or if greed is something that is learned. Jeremy, who is a retired professor of neurology, replied, “In most cases it is learned. The exceptions are people with certain parts of their brains atrophied or undeveloped - the parts that are needed for empathy. The best demonstration of this is the successful training of children to be soldiers in Africa.” And then another friend said, “In THE SELFISH GENE, Richard Dawkins makes the argument for the existence of both self-interest and altruism at the genetic level. No species could survive long enough to pass on its DNA were it not hard-wired for self-interest...but as I understand it, the species as a whole benefits from displays of empathy, kindness, what is called "consolation behavior," and even sacrificial behavior — as when a bee commits suicide to save the hive, or when a man runs into a burning building to save people unrelated to him. My guess is that individuals who cannot demonstrate this behavior suffer from brain damage (or brainwashing), as Jeremy suggests.” I think of Facebook as a valuable tool to further my education. Not that there is anything wrong with posting pictures of dogs, grandchildren or favorite flowers. What do you use Facebook for? I’m the humble farmer at gmail dot com.

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7. While looking on line for a machine that would hold 10 hours of language tapes, I found this: It says: "Apple iPod shuffle 2 GB Black (3rd Generation) (Discontinued by Manufacturer)" Now we might be getting close to what I'd like to have. I see that this one was discontinued by manufacturer. Why was this machine discontinued by the manufacturer? Probably too many people were able to figure out how to operate it.

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8. It is our understanding that the South Portland Police Department is looking for new officers and their announcement arrived in my mail. Up until the time I got married, I was able to put my hands on my 1945 Tom Mix gold metal badge identifying me as a crime stopper. It was also a code o graph that enabled me to decode secret messages. I probably mailed in 10 cents and a cereal box top to get it. My Tom Mix badge which I had cherished since 1945 mysteriously disappeared shortly after my marriage and I no longer feel I have crime stopping credentials. Anyway, my regrets to the South Portland PD. By the way, did your most prized possessions start to disappear after you got married?

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9. Have you ever noticed how ominous the call letters of some radio stations sound? WRFR sounds like a friendly pet and WFDU also has a warm and furry feeling about it, but how about KUNV? A knock on the door in the middle of the night. You open it a crack and see standing out there two VTPR men in shiny boots. Or, even worse, you might hear, “We’re from KUNV and we’d like a few words with you.”

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10. Do you know about being old? Let me tell you what it's like to be old. Being old is going into the supermarket and recognizing some haggard old woman slouching along behind a grocery cart. You hobble over to her and identify yourself. And you say, "I'd know you anywhere. You're Thelma Simmons. You were two years behind me in high school." And she says, "I ain't Thelma --- Thelma was my mother --- and she told me about you."

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